Tuesday, September 19th, 2006
In the City Palace observatory at Jaipur, the clouds are gathering over the jumble of upturned triangles and collapsed crescents. The shadow on the centuries-old sundial will remain at its afternoon orientation for a while longer, but soon the sky will darken so much that the dial becomes more of a trip hazard than a timepiece. The heat is pounding, the humidity has reached a stifling level and the combination makes you feel like a piece of cheese left out in the sun.Twenty minutes later, fat drops of rain start to fight their way through the thick air and explode on the hot slabs below our sandals in the central courtyard. Huddled into a doorway with tourists, workers and pilgrims, we watch as an ocean is poured through a sieve onto Jaipur. A quarter of an hour later the storm has passed, and everyone splashes their separate ways.
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Writing, Travel & Food, Features |
Monday, September 11th, 2006
The white tiled walls and wipe-clean tables - not to mention the open kitchen and slabs of fresh fish on the frontage - suggest your friendly neighbourhood pie and mash shop. But the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling point out that this is, instead, your friendly neighbourhood champagne and oyster bar.
And very friendly it is too. When we were there, the place was buzzing with busy chatter and giggly little birthday celebrations (they don’t take reservations here, so just turn up and take your chance). As for the service, it was prompt, attentive and incredibly kind, particularly in the face of two oyster-virgins who were eager to taste - if slightly scared to swallow - the famed aphrodisiac. (more…)
Travel & Food, Features |
Friday, September 8th, 2006
Parents, children and people who spend far too much time smoking dope alike were horrified this week by the announcement that Sony’s long awaited third generation PlayStation has been postponed. Already delayed from November (although it will be available in Japan, the US and probably eBay), the grand European launch has just been pushed back again - to after International Presents Day. Sorry, Christmas.Still, the season of ridiculously over-hopeful letters to Father Christmas is fast approaching, and the young pay little heed to Sony’s press releases, so be prepared to crack open the Tippex and substitute one of our handy tips for PS3 alternatives.
A cup and ball. Beautifully nostalgic, the gift of a carved wooden cup and ball set will be sure to set the hearts of all historically-affectionate children on fire. For all other children, they are a gift that can, at least, be set on fire; and even if not, a swingable ball and stick is quite reminiscent of a nunchuck. See, kids, in the world before video games, we had to make our own senseless violence.A crocodile. As every red-blooded young person knows, there’s a newly opened vacancy for an international crocodile hunter in the world. What better way to show them you love them than to give them their own real live 12ft snapper. And remember, if they don’t like it, you can always flush it down the toilet. As long as you have a 30ft toilet.
A ball of wool. It’s been scientifically proven by kittens; there is nothing more fun in the world than a ball of wool. With built-in stimulation for the attention-deficient (especially if you live in a sloping house), and excellent exercise for the obese, the ball of string is the new Tomb Raider. In fact, it’s been rumoured that Lara Croft: String Baller will be launched late next year.
Two front teeth. All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth is a sickeningly cutesy Christmas song for children that has been sung by, among many, Mariah Carey. While her own front teeth may not be available on the open market (though anything is available for the right price . . .), if this really is one of the most desirable presents, two front teeth can easily be secured if you’re willing to part with 50p, dress up as a fairy, and stick your hand under the right pillows.
A 2ft figurine of an Easter Island head that doubles as a tissue dispenser. Let not your imagination be restricted to electronic diversions and flashing lights of technological temptation - for the price of just one PS3, you could buy more than a dozen of these great (and useful) items, enough for all the family. The tissues come out of the nose, too.
Canada. Create your own new world! Build cities! Raise civilisations! Nurture gentle but somehow comical accents! Like the Sims, but more polite! I don’t know how much the current rate of Canada is, but let’s face it; compared to the currently non-existent PlayStation 3, it’s probably quite good value.
- This article was originally printed in the G2 section of The Guardian newspaper (a href=”http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1867564,00.html”>here)
Writing, Humour, Features |