Archive for February, 2007
Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
This isn’t a video, it turns out; it’s a little bundle of happy. Rap happy. Violent, sexual, happy rap. It must be said, lyrically, this song conforms to most of the rules of hippy-hopping. An aggressive stance, an invitation to fight, threats, boasts, references to sexual activity and bootylicious body parts.
And yet, and yet… you know how you get those websites set up by far-right Christian groups that go through movies and videos and analyse them for offensive content like swearing and hints of sexuality and glimpses of ankles and things? They usually wet themselves over hip hop. But, to be honest, it’s difficult to se how they’d have any problem with this. Glamorisation of burglarisation, maybe? She’s “so very hot that when she rob your mansion, you ain’t callin’ the cops, you call the fire station” apparently. Clear advocation of criminal activity.
But even THEN it’s cute. Dammit, it’s like Peaches was in a motorway pile-up with a Golden Syrup tanker and a consignment of My Little Pony toys, but managed to walk away from the crash with nothing more than a few scratches and superhuman powers or something.
[Find the full deconstruction, with pictures - the only way it makes sense, really - here]
Humour, Pickard of the pops |
Wednesday, February 21st, 2007
She dies. Oh… Whoops, I’m sorry!
* SPOILER ALERT *
She dies.
What do you mean, “Who?” You don’t care. Trust me. I’ve just saved you over nine minutes of your life.
Welcome to Justin Timberlake’s new video…
[Find the full deconstruction, with pictures - the only way it makes sense, really - here]
Humour, Pickard of the pops |
Wednesday, February 14th, 2007
Mrs Auldwomun, 1634 Merkin Drive, Beverley Hills: “I was just sitting out on my drive, it’s my drive, and I can sit there if I want, aint no law gainst it or nothin’, shut up. Suddenly, this crazy looking woman appeared from out of a bush. No, a BUSH. She were barefoot, and wild eyed, and missing most of her trouser, or one minute she were barefoot - the next she’d growna new paira white trainers!
“Anyways up. She wandered over the road, giving not a thought to traffic, or the fact she’d just hung her trousers in a nice neighborhood tree. And then she saw me, and when she sawed me, she started singing some slurred rubbish about how she used to have parties on the drive an eat chicken.
“Hell, I thought, I’m not hangin around here, case she changes her damn mind… ”
[Find the full deconstruction, with pictures - the only way it makes sense, really - here]
Humour, Pickard of the pops |
Wednesday, February 7th, 2007
… Oooh! Here comes the love interest!
There are a boy and a girl sitting looking like a couple. Jessica stares with coy lust at the boy and girl, then cuts to a fantasy scene… Jessica with the love interest (the boy, in this case), featuring them, in a photo booth, having their picture taken. Photos of Jessica! Yay! Jessica likes pictures of Jessica! Jessica is pretty! Yay!
*Sigh*. I’m losing the will to live. Oh look. Teeth.
In turn, the love interest cuts to a fantasy scene of his own. A more suggestive one this time, featuring Jessica eating an ice cream in a manner that suggests:
a) Jessica is out of practice at eating solid food, and/or
b) Jessica Simpson gives the worst blow jobs on the planet.
I think we all know the real reason she and Nick broke up. Seriously, it’s like a watching Jabba the Hutt suck jelly off a wooden spoon ….
[Find the full deconstruction, with pictures - the only way it makes sense, really - here]
Humour, Pickard of the pops |
Monday, February 5th, 2007
Though I’m working on linking the best showcase posts from this site too, in the meantime (and anyway) here’s a link to where you can find a list of some of the best posts on little red boat.
Best of blog, Housekeeping |
Monday, February 5th, 2007
A testament to my chaotic and unconventional culinary skills, with more than a casual nod to a fellow blogger. (more…)
Best of blog |
Monday, February 5th, 2007
Subtitled How to be Sick and Make Sure the World Knows It, this is a post I wrote while ill. A draft version of a potential chapter form I was considering developing for later posts/projects, the guide is intended for beginners at the attention-seeking/illness game… (more…)
Best of blog, Humour |
Sunday, February 4th, 2007
Over the summer of 2006, I researched, wrote and recorded a travel guide to Nice for Guardian Unlimited. As part of a series of “Sounds of the City” shows exploring short city breaks around the Mediterranean, I explored this famous city and decided it was “like Brighton in a microwave”.
Click here to listen to the podcast, or click here for the picture-enhanced version.
Multimedia, Travel & Food, Podcasts |
Sunday, February 4th, 2007
Over the summer of 2006, I researched, wrote and recorded a travel guide to Marseilles for Guardian Unlimited. As part of a series of “Sounds of the City” shows exploring short city breaks around the Mediterranean, I visited this much-maligned city to enjoy the Festival de Marseilles and explore its hidden treasures.
Click here to listen to the podcast, or click here for the picture-enhanced version.
Multimedia, Travel & Food, Podcasts |
Sunday, February 4th, 2007
In the spring of 2006 I was interviewed for a Radio 4 programme highlighting some of the newest voices and most interesting blogs on the net.
The show, “Meet the Bloggers”, went out in August-September 2006, and my “whimsical musings” appeared on the very first episode.
You can Read about the show here, or listen to the full interview between producer Mark Savage and me.
Best of blog, Multimedia, Radio |